|Deviant Login||Shop||Join deviantART for FREE||Take the Tour|
IMPORTANT READ PLEASEI Want to make some things clear. There has been an outbreak of comments on my depression peices that are relating to my health and drugs... But please listen. I have already said in my journal that i will be uploading OLD peices. My computer had a virus and i was unable to upload Some newer peices, and quite a few older peices... These two peices happen to be the older ones. I am no longer dealing with drugs or cutting. I have not done either for at least a month... The whole 4/20 thing was a JOKE Or it was supposed to be... thats why i made my description line, under my name Legalize it Err not... I dont support drug use, and i most ceertainly dont use myself...
I want to be 100 percent clear with you guys. People have been getting very concerned that i am "getting worse" But these are older peices. That is why i posted them under deviations instead of in my journal... SO please, do not overreact, I was not very clear on the situation and you all have a right to be pissed
I have already lostI wake up every morning,
wondering why i try,
knowing that im worthless,
All i want is to die.
But im shown every day
the reasons that i wont.
I feel like everyone hates me,
but i know that they dont.
I cant run from fear
Or it will consume me
Im walking in the dark
and need a light to see.
Many have tried
to light my way
but i ignore them
and to myself say...
That i dont need help
that i am alright,
But i cannot beleive its true,
When every day is a fight...
I know that i need help
i know that i am lost
Maybe i will find myself,
But what will be the cost?
Depression 2Its craving a blade,
or needing a fix.
Wanting to die,
Not having any ambition,
screaming without sound
drowning in yourself,
Having no emotions,
Tearing at your soul.
Its all the pain that you cant imagine,
if you havnt gone through it.
Its not being able to move,
or needing intoxicants or narcotics to feel.
Its all your mistakes placed on your shoulders,
forcing your head to droop down.
Its a voice in your ear telling you that you cant,
or that your worthless...
Hope,Is the voice in your head, being blocked out..
by the one that is telling you cant.
Is a freind,
a helping hand,
Therapy or councelling,
Antidepressants Or a shoulder to cry on.
Its anything lettting you know that your not alone,
and that you can get through this,
Its you and I, At least for someone.....
DepressionI draw my inspiration from how i feel. My emotions are what fuel my writing.
And at the moment i feel numb. I feel so numb, that drawing any emotion but pain from myself, Is a challenge. A challenge that i do not have enough energy to conquer. Im just Drowning in myself. I cant swim through my emotions anymore, They grab onto me and pull me down before i can escape. Pulling me under, i cannot scream, i cannot fight, I can only open my eyes and look at all of my mistakes swirl around my head... taunting me. Its just impossible to do anything... Im overwhellmed by my emotions, and i can only hold my breath for so long. My air supply is thin, and im starting to get dizzy. Even the most simple task becomes so challenging that i cant help but cry... I dont want to give up, but at some point will it even be my choice anymore?
This is what depression feels like. it feels like drowning in what used to be your life...You are doing fine, and one day you wake up and Boom, Your life is turned upsi
?I close my eyes
And wish that i
could reach my hand
and touch the sky
id paint the clouds
from gray to blue
the sun would shine through..
It will not be okay...Im lost
Looking for guidence
In all the wrong places
but empty promises
and plastic smiles..
"Its going to be okay"
"you will make it through this"
NO I WONT!!!
I need your help
and you do nothing
I have no reasonI have no reason For tears.
But in my head
I find justification to bring them anyways
If you think that i am sane
Or have a rational mind
then you yourself need as much help
as much as i do
I cant find another solution
Effective or not
This is my vice
Im Just hoping,
That i will find another
That actually works
Crown of ThornsShe wakes up with red staining her pillow
and the taste of blood like iron in her mouth
It stains her teeth and leaks from her lips, and as she
rinses her mouth out, she can’t help thinking that
it’s better than dirt and ashes
it feels like she’s wearing a noose
of broken promises and shattered glass
that tightens around her throat with every day that passes
She nails a smile to her face
and doesn't let herself think the word dying
Keep in Touch!
^Nyx-Valentine arrived in our community and started whipping everyone into a frenzy with her relentless desire to bring the Artistic Nude and Fetish galleries to the fore. 9 years later, and it's safe to say that Nyx is not only a leader as a photographer in these galleries, but she has also established herself as a much saught after model. ^... Read More